Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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