you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
