I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize