Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Randomize
