I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.