dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
All I want is dick and wine.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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