Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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