I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
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