Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
