At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
