sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
