from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
