Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
