my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
