I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
