I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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