Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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