i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
And then he peed in my hair
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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