I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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