I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
