So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
