Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
