I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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