it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
