i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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