today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
false alarm, still single
Randomize