from now on my penis is your penis
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
