theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
