i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Randomize
