This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
