I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Randomize
