DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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