you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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