I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize