I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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