i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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