I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Randomize
