It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
