I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
