just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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