tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
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