4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Randomize