WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
