I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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