Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize