One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
