He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
