so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
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