Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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