I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize