woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
