god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
