I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
As shirtless as possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize