my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
