Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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