i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
