I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize