Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
