Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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