Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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